Are you scared yet?

Have you begun to suspect that last decade’s master international spin doctors have lost their touch? That the Asian tigers have gone toothless? That the Latin lions have the economic gumption of Bert Lahr before his visit to Oz? That actual or feared job losses may finally cause U.S. consumers to pull back on spending, and take the last engine that kept the world economy on a fast track off line?

If the answer to all these questions is yes, then the following financial verse is for you. It’s loosely—very loosely—based on Alfred Noyes’ "The Highwayman," a poem I’ve used as a vehicle to parody markets before, but never, frankly, with such great effect.

World Recession Fears

The U.S. surplus is shrinking, like a summer ice cream scoop,
Japan is awash in old borrowing, its economy in the soup,
The EU’s struggling euro, can’t seem to find a floor,
And recession fears keep rising, rising, rising,
Fears of recession keep rising—rising more and more.

The days are past when investors viewed all losers as fallen gems,
And rushed to their rescue with money, like nurturing mother hens,
Now national governments go begging, and companies cut to the bone,
To avoid deep fiscal trouble,
Escape the deflating bubble,
Flee from the mounting rubble,
With consequences unknown.

The Asian meltdown’s now his’try [we’re told], Latin markets more secure,
The Eastern bloc is growing [they say], no longer quite so poor,
Yet banks from Rio to Bangkok, mad for a profit ledge,
Are calling in loan after loan after loan,
Pulling debtors over the edge.

Perhaps one market morning soon, to panicky echoes you’ll wake,
You equity holders will tremble, you bond investors quake,
Then as global economies teeter, you’d best pray that there appears,
A deep pocket lender spender,
A white knight market mender,
Who can calm your white knuckle fears.

********

© Michael Silverstein