"Nowadays, you can't turn on the TV without some talking head telling you about the economy. Yet, in a world overrun by 'analysts,' only one man has the guts, the brains, and, quite frankly, the poetry to put it all in perspective.That man is Michael Silverstein... Silverstein is a true intellectual." — Gersh Kuntzman, The New York Post

"Few people have found much to laugh about in the stock market this year. Michael Silverstein is the exception. The Bard of the Bourse can find humor in losing money, globalization and stock options." — USA Today

More Of What The Critics Are Saying
About Silverstein's Verse

 

Alfred Noyes (1880-1958) is largely forgotten today, probably because his poetry is immediately accessible, rich in metaphor, and delightful enough to enthrall a child at bedtime—unlike the cloying, self-absorbed, linguistically sterile pap that currently passes for verse in academic circles. Noyes’ best-known work, "The Highwayman," is a pot boiling masterpiece that sends shivers down the spine of any self-respecting child or adolescent. Indeed, any young person whose mind doesn’t race off into realms of heroism and romance after reading (or better still, hearing) lines like:

Look for me by moonlight,
Watch for me by moonlight,
I’ll come to thee by moonlight,
Though hell should bar the way.

is certainly destined for a career in financial planning or the Postal Service. "The Highwayman" parody that follows, titled "The Vulture Funds," is utterly unlike the original in terms of sentiment, but captures, in much truncated form, some of its rhyming virtues. The vulture fund activity noted in the opening lines below, it might be noted, refers to games that were played just after the Asian and Russian currency meltdowns of 1998. Games, I suspect, we’ll see played again quite soon.

The Vulture Funds

Japan was awash in old borrowing, that weighted its planners down.
Poor Russia was falling apart, and ruled by a drunken clown.
Brazil had currency problems, and an endless stream of poor.
And the vulture funds came buying, buying, buying,
The vulture funds came buying, acquiring more and more.

The funds had a slew of hot money, to invest in fallen gems,
And many long-nurtured contacts, among Repubs and Dems.
They knew who was in the most trouble, they knew who was desperate to sell,
They rushed to the busted bubble,
To pick among the rubble,
With ready money to gobble
What from the sky had fell.

The Asian meltdown’s now his’try, it’s said, and Latin markets secure,
Russia’s on firmer footing, and no longer quite so poor,
The world’s central bankers now protect all helpless prey,
From vulture funds’ wild buying, buying, buying,
From vulture funds’ wild buying, good stuff for little pay.

Yet still there are market mornings when panicky echoes wake,
When equity holders tremble, and bond investors quake.
And then should economies teeter, who should be quick to appear,
But some smiling vulture buyers,
Hot, for bargain buyers,
Flashing their discount offers, at sellers white with fear.

************

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