When the market plays the miser,
When consumers feel tough times,
There’s just one way to boost earnings,
That’s by nickels and by dimes.

When you’ve tried other solutions,
Squeezed employees, vendors, too,
And these other ways don’t cut it,
Dimes and nickels get you through.

Charge a fee for once free service,
Sell insurance no once needs,
Levy fines on ev’ry late pay,
On such gimmicks profit feeds.

No, you can’t raise prices outright,
That would just help competition,
But ‘bout nickel and ‘bout diming,
You need have no inhibition.

******