When "The House by the Side of the Road" by Sam Walter Foss first appeared in 1897, it won instant popularity. Its appeal is easy to understand. The poem’s best remembered lines:
Let me live in my house by the side of the road
And be a friend to man.
beautifully capture a universal desire—the desire to bag all the fuss and hassles, the rank ambition and unattainable hopes, and just cruise along in a state of acceptance, devoid of cares or surprises.
The investing analogy to such feelings, of course, involves putting money into Treasury securities. We’ve already done a paean to one such security—the short-term T-bill—in a poem called "Squeeze" that parodies Joyce Kilmer’s "Trees." Here, we sing the worry-free praises of the long-term 10-year Treasury bond in a work titled "A Friend To Sam."
A Friend To Sam
There are hearty souls for dangers born
Who will gamble with next month’s rent;
There are souls who dare, without a fear,
When they’re down to their last red cent.
There are pioneer souls that seek the gold
Without a care or plan.
But me I’ll invest in the 10-year bond
And be a friend to Sam.
Let me buy when I can a new dull and safe bond
While others seek fatter game.
It may be these others are smart or they’re dumb
I’ll judge not how large their brain.
‘Tis silly to take on a scoffer’s pose
Or dis another’s plan.
I’ll just put my own roll in the 10-year bond
And be a friend to Sam.
I know the economy’s penchant to surge
Raises high its boosters’ hopes,
How the ride on those upswings intoxicates some
And makes sideliners feel like dopes.
Risk-takers deserve all the goodies they get
They’re braver than I am.
I’d rather sleep snug with my Treasury bonds
And be a friend to Sam.
As I bumble along without clear money goals
I usually trail the pack.
The big bucks require hard work and much sweat
And I’ll ne’er be on that track.
Great fortunes have risen through talent and vision
Plus the occasional scam.
I choose stodgy not dodgy with 10-year bonds
And stay a friend of Sam.
Some may hear in my speak, a strong patriot’s streak,
A desire to aid the home land;
Or call me a knave for, currying favor
With the IRS take-it-all band.
But I carry no load on the jingo land road
I’ve no wish to please the tax man,
I just want to stay wed in that safe T-bond bed
And be a friend to Sam.
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