Bloomberg For President?

In days of yore the rich would seek a needy candidate,
And legally (though quietly) his campaign chest inflate.
Both giver and receiver liked the tradeoff here just fine,
One got himself more access, one could buy more TV time.

But these days folks with money have devised a better plan;
It’s a lot more cost effective, it shuts out the middleman.
Instead of buying influence with others they select,
They run themselves for office and buy public posts direct.

The process here is simple, a no-strainer to relay;
First you hire a consultant to spruce up your resume;
Then greenery you sprinkle among local party hacks,
And a way to dole out more’s created via campaign PACs.

If on the stump it’s clear you’re not a public speaking giant,
A coach can make you sound a lot like William Jennings Bryant;
On bread and butter issues if you’re prone to spouting gapers,
A seasoned campaign flack will write you great position papers.

In the end, of course, it all comes down to making TV buys;
When you spend enough on media, your numbers always rise.
Perfect family, hard hat workers, ethnic types, a waving flag,
Are the content of your message, which gets shown till viewers gag.

While talking heads may hold their nose at such crude repetition,
It’s the perfect way (just ask the pros) to beat the competition.
In mayors’ contests coast to coast, in House and Senate races,
Rich nobodies who buy the tube end up with smiling faces.

So a monied power seeker need no longer use a beard,
He can buy an office outright and no one now thinks its wierd.
Though perhaps the deeper meanings here require research thorough,
For me a simple term describes it—New Age rotten borough.

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