Bernanke At The Bat

It looked extremely rocky for the gov’nors at the Fed
Good economic news was sparse, good numbers mostly fled
And when the CPI took flight, and job growth took a hit
Investors wondered was it time, from market games to split.

With bears now growling loudly, daily market dips increased
Even pollyannas whispered that this long-toothed bull’s deceased
If Greenspan were still here, all thought, we wouldn’t have to scat
But Greenspan’s gone, and in his sted, Ben B. is at the bat.

Harsh lights shone down, sweat drops appeared, upon Ben’s balding pate
When he strode before the cameras, his saving plans to state
The man, ‘twas clear, his business knew, you had to give him that
But could he match Al’s magic touch, keep markets off the mat?

"I’ve a great new way to measure how fast prices rise," quoth Ben
"My core rate twist turns eight to six, makes twelve looks like it’s ten"
At first investors played along, they liked this game a lot
But lately they’ve been less inclined, they now say: "Maybe not."

"Alright," the Chairman countered, "if inflation’s got you scared
Check out consumer spending, it is up, not down as feared"
Alas, most added spending is for basics, food and gas
Ben hoped to hear investors cheer, ‘sted heard: "We’ll take a pass."

The Chairman knew what Wall Street sought, it wanted lower rates
Investors on one thing agree, high rates a thing they hates
"I’d love to lower rates," said Ben, "don’t want to make you sore
I just can’t do it," Ben B. said. The comback? "Where’s the door?"

Oh, somewhere out in Asia manufacturing’s no bust
And somewhere in the EU people still their leaders trust
And somewhere doctored numbers and jawboning still pack clout
But when a bull has run its course, even Fed chairs must strike out.

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