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Michael Silverstein's
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A Dyspeptic's Guide To Contemporary American Politics (In Verse)

Fifteen Feet Beneath Manhattan by Michael Silverstein

"Nowadays, you can't turn on the TV without some talking head telling you about the economy. Yet, in a world overrun by 'analysts,' only one man has the guts, the brains, and, quite frankly, the poetry to put it all in perspective.That man is Michael Silverstein... Silverstein is a true intellectual." — Gersh Kuntzman, The New York Post

"Few people have found much to laugh about in the stock market this year. Michael Silverstein is the exception. The Bard of the Bourse can find humor in losing money, globalization and stock options." — USA Today
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About Silverstein's Verse

 

Excelsior is one of those words that meant a lot in the 19th century but fell out of favor in the 20th. It means always upward, ever higher, and was most often used as a call to excellence or as a motto (which is why it’s found today on the seal of the State of New York). It’s a romantic rallying cry to do better, and better, and better. To constantly improve yourself. To never give up

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, America’s most famous 19th poet, chose this word as the title of one of his better known poems. The story line of this poem follows the adventures of a beautiful young man plodding through a driving Alpine snowstorm, carrying a banner bearing the single word: Excelsior. A maiden and an old guy in a village he passes through beg him to stop and rest. But he won’t abandon his quest for the ephemeral, undefined, but suggestively exalted Excelsior. A few days later the young man is found in a snow bank (perhaps by a St. Bernard, though it’s not made clear in the poem), a smile on his frozen lips, still bearing the banner with that single word: Excelsior.

A generation of American school children learned this poem by heart and found it profoundly inspiring. Perhaps a contemporary generation of investors will find my own version of this poem—titled "Alka-Seltzer"—equally so. It appears in my new book, Songs of Wall Street.

Alka-Seltzer

The closing bell was drawing near,
And with it came a touch of fear,
Young Ed, who trades throughout the day,
Sensed soon there would be hell to pay,
Alka-Seltzer!

His mouth gone dry, his eyes transfixed,
A desk computer flashed his picks,
It showed he’d acted much too bold
He’d overbought and undersold,
Alka-Seltzer!

"Don’t be a schmuck," an old hand warned;
"Big losses are by big risk spawned,
Build slow your pile, don’t lose control!"
But Ed thought he was on a roll,
Alka-Seltzer!

"Ease up," his wife advised, "be cool
Don’t blow our winnings like a fool!"
Ed heard her ‘plaint and felt the goad,
Alas be’d frozen on this road,
Alka-Seltzer!

Some weeks later, a friend of Ed,
At mid-day found him in his bed,
His face unshaved, his breath a’fire
He clutched a broker’s statement dire,
Alka-Seltzer!

Ed’s left the game that made him throb,
He’s focused, full-time, on his job,
But new investors have the itch,
Quite sure their stocks will make them rich,
Alka-Seltzer!

*********

© Michael Silverstein
 

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