Now let’s return to Silverstein Family Pledge Central. Mike Silverstein, how are things going over there?
A little slow, Sylvia. And frankly I’m disappointed. We only do this a few times a year. We only ask for financial help from our friends and neighbors five or six times a year. But the phones are pretty quiet now.
Can I interrupt you for a second, Mike.
Certainly, Sylvia.
As Mike has been saying, we can’t get along without your help. We can’t continue to do the things we do, the things so many people expect us to do, unless we get a regular infusion of contributions from people like yourself. Mike won’t be as laid back at his job every day, and do the work that’s so important to his employer and his colleagues. I can’t run a happy house and get the kids ready for school—a place where they make their own major contributions to the community. Even little Rambo the cat will be hard-pressed to carry on her own pet duties. We need your help. We count on your pledges during these pledge drives. And we know you won’t let us down.
If I can stop you there for just a second, Sylvia.
Go ahead Mike.
You know, we probably could get by doing what other families do. We could earn and save and maybe borrow a little on our credit cards. But that’s not the kind of people we are. And we know that’s not the kind of people you want us to be.
Just consider the important things the Silverstein Family has done for others in just the last year. Fred Garcioni, remember that lawn mower I loaned you? And Marcia Cosgrove, that night your kid spent over at our place because you had that big date with your supervisor. You called us at 11 p.m. and said you couldn’t pick her up until the next morning. We were there for you, Marcia. The school board meetings we attend, the endless complaints we listen to politely from business associates. Doesn’t that count for something? We need your help to carry on with this important work. We need it NOW. We need you to reach for the phone, to call us, to make that pledge. NOW!
Can I just add something, Mike?
Of course, Sylvia.
This is one time when giving is a two-way street. For every twenty-five dollar pledge you’ll get a "Silverstein Family Sings Christmas Favorites" CD. For a fifty dollar pledge we’ll send you a Silverstein Family beach umbrella and towel set. And for a one hundred dollar pledge you’ll get a weekend stay for you or your daughter at the Cleveland YWCA.
Don’t forget those corporate challenge grants, Sylvia.
Not on your life, Mike. Every $250 or better pledge will be matched by the Chain Smokers’ Foundation. Chain smoking, an adult pleasure for gutsy adults who love their pleasure.
Oops. I hear the phone ringing, Sylvia. And it’s almost time for us to get back to our regular lives. Just 12 more calls and we’ll do just that. Please, please, please, don’t force us to get commercial. Don’t force us to become crass. Don’t make us seem small by begging. The hell with the Cancer Society. Screw Oxfam. We need your money. We deserve it. Good friends, good neighbors. good workmates, are worth supporting. Call in that pledge. Call it in NOW!
